Welcome to my blog! Thanks for reading the nonsense that fills my head. Feel free to comment as this definitely cheaper than therapy.
If I had to choose one ball, it would be?
A)Blue balls
B)Crystal ball
C)Kick in the balls
D)All of the above
Answer: D - All of the above
Blue Balls - The ex-fiancé whom I will call "Tool Boy" has a bad case of blue balls. He continues to try to get on me morning and night. Does anyone want to tell him to stop thinking with his jackhammer? Does it make any sense that Tool Boy waits until it is too late to worry about using his jackhammer on this job? I have a hard time feeling sorry about his blue ball situation when I know he was providing free estimates. I thought of anonymously sending a blow-up doll and a penthouse subscription to see if that would take care of the blue ball situation. If anyone has any other ideas, please share!
Crystal Ball - I have been looking on Craigslist and eBay for a good crystal ball. I am at the point of my life where I have so many choices to make and it is hard to know what direction is the best. I keep hearing, "listen to your heart". I'm not sure that my heart is very far from my ass. It keeps giving me shitty advice and I can never trust a silent but deadly confidant.
Kick in the Balls - I would love to give Tool Boy a good kick in the balls. Wrong? Yes. Would I still feel pleasure in making him fall to the ground and scream like a school girl? Yes. So just this morning he tells me that my ass looks nicer now. Exact words, "Looks like you don't have as much cottage cheese right there". Was that a compliment? Really?!?!?
Extra Credit Essay - All this talk about balls, reminded me of an inappropriate ongoing conversation that I have with the volleyball crew. If you had a one-night stand with a guy, would you notice if he had one ball or two?
You might be surprised that this little question sparks hours of intense debate. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that we have surveyed the bar a few times in an effort to solve this dilemma. I don't have a clear winner on this social experiment, but please feel free to register your vote. Please note, these results will not be scientific and have not been endorsed by the nonprofit movement for better sex "organ"ization. Hee Hee...I couldn't resist.
